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The concept was the attainment of knowledge, where real consequence is attached to believed unreality. One can believe and think they know anything if there are no consequences pertaining. It is when one believes their life to be on the line that the true conviction is tested. So the trick was to believe, but not to the extent that it would paralyze one. A year in the life. That is a lot of intensity. Would wake up just after three a.m. every morning. The mind would start to go and there was no going back to sleep.
But there was oh so much to think about. I sustained myself this time around with Oregon Blueberry Granola. It was good with cold milk. Probably the only breakfast better than Oatmeal for sustainable energy, although maybe a little hard on the stomach.
One lives with an intensity like every moment. After all one is famous, one ponders life and death, and one has to run the world. So a lot of thinking. And a lot of talking to oneself in private. They are listening. So that is how one communicates with them by talking, and how one gives orders, but only that which one thinks they should or should not know.
How this thing all got started. I broke up with Sophia. I had a dream of another woman. But mainly she was changing, wanting to get out on her own, not wanting to do anymore what I liked to do. And I knew she would never leave her family. The point being that I went on a back-packing trip on my own, to the Caribou Wilderness just east of Lassen National Forest, and then to another spot further north.
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