Stories
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I found this to be unsatisfactory. Making money from it was mostly in the finish. I started doing automobile finishes on ceramic sculpture using poisonous chemicals and finding myself breathing from a fresh air hose I had rigged up from the outside. This was no fun anymore. One day around this time a neighbor came in who was learning hypnotherapy, and he wanted to practice on me. I told him no. He wanted to know why and I told him that I was afraid that I might find out I was not really an artist.
However an incident not so long after, changed the course of my life. I went to a party up the street. Somebody brought brownies spiked with hashish without telling anyone. I had one, got really stoned and decided I was not an artist. I had not had any dope in many years. It was a realization. I found out what I didn't want to know. The sculpture studio was my church. But then one has to be
true to the self and I abandoned it. And so it sat many years unused.
I decided to quit ceramics. It must have been a big decision. I had thought of myself as an artist for probably twenty years. I didn't know what to do. I decided to do nothing. I didn't do anything for at least couple of months maybe as long as six. Finally I began to get the feeling that I wanted to write poetry. So I wrote poetry full time when not working for maybe two years. Mostly it was autobiographical. But I started a section about subjects of which I had no answers, and started to ask questions in the form of poetry.
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