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Everyone else especially Gerry seemed to act normal, whereas I felt uncomfortable in front of strangers, and this guy was bound to remain unknown. Who was this guy to just barge in, sit down and start eating our food, and the nerve never saying a word ? I found that I was embarrassed to talk in front of him. Why ? Something I would have to ponder.
It was an uncomfortable day for me but I learned some very interesting things from the experience, wondering why this guy made me so uncomfortable. I learned what I didn't know before. I learned that I acted in front of people in a manner that was indicated by how they acted and spoke, as what I could glean from what they said. I learned that I didn't act as if a set and singular personality, but tailored my character according to my perceived sensibilities of my audience.
When for the first time I did not have a clue as to who my audience was, I discovered that I didn't know how to act or what to say. I was afraid to embarrass myself, as to act in a manner inappropriate. I could not determine what they might think of me. It made me aware that I had no fixed personality, that I played roles, that I was an actor. But then who does one want to be anyway?
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